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The Swing Set

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 In a previous post, I shared how minimalism was starting to change our lives.  After months of getting rid of more and more "stuff," Matt and I wanted to start thinking bigger picture. We are in a home that we are proud of and that we have made our own.  But there is a lot of space that we don't use (even with adding a child to the mix), and there is a yard that is nearly an acre.  The time and energy spent cleaning and doing lawncare, the money spent on the mortgage (and high taxes in our area) were just starting to lead to questions of.... why? We began talking about moving.  Why were we paying this much time and energy when we don't have to?  But at the same time, we have a goal to move south again in a few years. Did it really make sense to sell our current home and buy another?  Any savings on a smaller mortgage would likely be wiped out by closing costs when buying the new place.  Was it even worth the effort? Enter fate/the universe/source energy/God or howeve
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Minimalism

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Matt and I have been on the path of minimalism this year.  I have read so much about how minimalism and mindfulness go hand in hand.  It just kept popping up as I learned about mindfulness, happiness, living your best life.   I also saw it from the flip-side: My mom realized that she and my dad are a few years from retirement, and may possibly move at that time or become snowbirds.  So what was she going  to do with all of the "stuff" that they had accumulated over the years?  My siblings and I have all moved out. They don't need as much space or as much stuff as they once did.  The thought of having to pack everything up at once to move was a good wake up call for her to begin that process now, while she has the time to go through it room by room.  I inherited my mindset of "this item is still good; what if I need it in the future?" from my mom.  But if she could start to sort her possessions and declutter, then I could as well. The holidays also helped it sink
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Wake up

I am still debating just how raw I will get with this blog.  That whole concept of "How much is too much?"   So for now, I will just say that 2020 was a year like no one could have anticipated.  In the background, I heard on the news about a strange disease in China.  But it didn't enter my conscious much, because this had happened before. Ebola, zika, bird flu, mad cow, etc.  Someone else's problem.  We all know what came next globally. At the same time, my personal life was crashing down, and by late April, I was in a really tough place.  Everything that had felt safe and sound and secure was no longer, and I was floundering.  My sister, who has become one of my anchors this past year, suggested reading a book that she'd heard a lot about- "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle. Struck. by. lightning. I read this in days. Could not put it down.  Luckily, I had bought the book, because I think I dog-eared every few pages that felt like they had been written just fo
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To my younger self

 Hi Jen, We are 38 now, but I am writing to a younger version of us.  (How's that for confusing?) I am writing to the awkward, coke-bottle-glasses-wearing version.  Puberty is quick, though it may not feel it at the time. I am writing to the shy version who loves to be involved, but whose energy is zapped in big crowds.   I am writing to the sad version who just wants to be a mother and continuously watches others around her seemingly get pregnant with ease. I am writing to the college version who was so close to finding her true self, and then it somehow went away. Today, I am figuring out the secret.  The secret that I have worth just be being alive.  That no one else is going to put my happiness first, and it is not selfish to do so, even as a mother.  That I don't have to put others' needs above my own at all times.  That I don't have to solve everyone's' problems for them.  That I am in the body that I was given, and I need to love every curve, stretch mark
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It's time.

 Do you ever have those moments where it feels like you wake up from a fog? "What day is it?" "How is it already March?" "Wasn't it just Christmas?"   The fog lifts, you take note of the time marching by, and realize that there was something you wanted to do. Write a book. Lose 10 pounds before swimsuit season. Plan a vacation. Book a mani/pedi. You have a good inner dialogue about your amazing intentions and vow that this time, you will make it happen.  Then it is bedtime.  You go to bed, wake up in the morning, go to work, and resume your regularly scheduled life. It's a good one.  You enjoy it, you are optimistic, you are following the rules, being a "good girl."  Graduate high school. Go to college.  Find the love of your life.  Buy a home. Get married. Have kids. You have it better than so many.  You don't have to think about where your next meal is coming from.  You have shelter.  You are safe.  My God, how many people can't
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